How To Be More
by MissingMommy
Summary: James keeps finding himself in the Hospital Wing just for the chance to talk with Narcissa Black, who helps Madam Pomfrey every Wednesday. :: For Samtwo.


For Samtwo.

So many thanks to Amber and Laura for the help!

* * *

 _i._

The first thing that James does when he wakes up is groan. He's cursing Firewhiskey for the awful hangover that is causing his head to hurt when he finally opens his eyes. Everything is rather blurry without his glasses, but the distinctive lack of red and gold tells him he's not in his dorm.

He remembers, with sudden clarity, about the Quidditch match and the Bludger he took to the head. He rolls over to grope at the side table, looking for his glasses, realizing his mistake almost immediately but continuing with his quest despite the pain.

"Oh, you're awake."

James hastily shoves his glasses on as he twists to see who is speaking. Narcissa Black looks at him curiously. Her blonde hair is pulled up and out of her face.

"How are you feeling?" she asks, coming to stand at his bedside.

"Like I've taken a Bludger to the head," he replies. His voice is scratchy as he talks from disuse, which makes him wonder how long he's been out.

She nods and pulls her wand from her robes. Flicking her wrist, she summons a vial to her. She places it on the side table before turning back to him. "I need to see if you have a bad concussion. I'm sure you've been through this many times before, but I'm going to shine a light in your eyes," she explains. When James doesn't object, she murmurs, " _Lumos_."

James dutifully takes off his glasses and follows Narcissa's directions as she shines the light in his eyes. When she extinguishes the light, he puts back on his glasses.

"You don't have a concussion," she announces. She hands him the vial from the side table. "That is for the pain. You'll need to stay overnight just in case. You were out for a few days, after all."

He drinks the potion as quickly as possibly, grimacing at the taste. Judging by the amount of daylight filtering through the windows, it's around midday. "What day is it?"

"Wednesday," she answers. "Madam Pomfrey made your friends go to class."

"Don't you have class?" he asks.

"I help Madam Pomfrey on Wednesdays."

She's about to move away when James speaks again. "Are you looking into becoming a Healer then? You'd make a good one."

Narcissa's once open expression turns guarded. "I should go. Madam Pomfrey just went to Professor Slughorn for some potions. She'll be back soon."

She is gone before he can protest. Having nothing else to do, James lays back down, staring at the ceiling as he wonders what just happened.

He's sure he'll figure it out, even if he has to end up in the Hospital Wing every Wednesday.

 _ii._

The next time he's in the Hospital Wing, it's a mix of his fault and not his fault. He really should've moved his hand out of the doorway quicker, but he wasn't expect Frank to let go of the door at the wrong moment.

He cradles his broken hand to his chest as he sits down on the bed. He's pleasantly surprised when Narcissa comes inspect his hand instead of Madam Pomfrey, not realizing that it is Wednesday.

Narcissa handles James' broken hand with care before she meets his eyes. "I'm going to give you a pain potion before I fix your hand because it's going to hurt."

She summons a vial to her. He takes it with very little prompting, his hand hurting too much to care about pride. She takes the empty vial back and returns it to its original spot with a flick of her wrist.

"How did you manage this?" she asks, nodding to his swollen hand.

"I got into a fight with a door," he says drily. "I believe it won."

Narcissa laughs, covering her mouth in attempt to silence the sound. It's a beautiful sound, and James finds that he wants to make her laugh more.

"You should probably be careful around doors from now on," she tells him.

He grins, bright and easy. "I'll try, my lady, but that attack came out of nowhere."

She flashes him a smile for moment before she casts the spell to fix his hand. James doesn't even notice the pain, between the pain potion and the shock of Narcissa's beautiful smile. He feels the breath stolen from his chest at her moment-long smile, and the way her blue-grey eyes shine with determination.

Narcissa touches his hand, inspecting it once more. Once she's satisfied, she takes a step back and tucks her wand in her robes.

"Your hand is better. Take it easy for the next couple of hours, which includes catching that stupid Snitch," she says, giving him a hard look.

James grins at her. "You've been watching me, haven't you?"

Her cheeks redden a bit. "No," she answers, surprisingly even given her blush. "Everyone knows about your fascination with the Snitch even though you're a Chaser."

"Don't tell anyone else, but it's to hone my reflexes," he whispers conspiratorially, winking at her.

She huffs out a soft laugh as the doors slam open and she has more students to help.

James watches as she goes about helping them. He likes the way her blonde hair sways as she moves. She is confident in every decision she makes and her wand-work is perfect. He watches until the sun starts to sink down, casting shadows in the Hospital Wing, and his stomach growls.

He heads off for dinner while thinking of his next plan.

 _iii._

James hobbles into the Hospital Room late Wednesday afternoon. His entire body hurts and he feels dizzy and like he's about to puke. He thinks, briefly, that tumbling down two flights of stairs was a terrible idea. Then he spots Narcissa.

She gives him a concerned look as she comes over to help him to the bed. His skin tingles where she's touching him to support him. He forgets when he was doing before she touched him.

She gets him settled on the bed. The new position allows him to see her face. Even with worry lining her face, she looks beautiful. It takes him several long moments to realize his glasses are missing and she's asking him a question.

"What happened?"

"Stairs. Slip. Roll," he says, after several long moments of him trying to remember. He uses his hands to show her how he tumbled.

"Does your head hurt?" she asks, shining the wandlight in his eyes.

He starts to nod, realizes his mistake with a grimace, and says, "Yes."

She hums to herself as she checks him over for further injuries. She summons a pain potion to give him again. "You've got a concussion, but you managed not to hurt yourself otherwise, which is lucky. You'll have to stay a while for observation."

"You got the most beautiful eyes," James announces. He widens his eyes once he realizes what he's said. "That's not to say that they are the only beautiful part of you, but it's not. You're -"

Narcissa shushes him as she moves away. "I'll check on you in a bit. Try not to fall asleep."

He can't make out her face at a distance, but he swears that he saw her blush before she moved away. He doesn't last long before he asks loudly, "What's your favorite subject?"

He thinks she might not have heard him when he hears footstep. A fuzzy shape approaches him which makes him remember his glasses. He feels around for them for a few moments before Narcissa hands them to him. She settles on the bed next him.

"Herbology," she answers. "I had to work at all my other classes to pass, but Herbology just came so easy. What about yours?"

"Defence Against the Dark Arts. There's something exhilarating about a duel," he explains.

The pair exchange questions and answers back and forth. Clearly, no one has ever wanted to know Narcissa herself. James can hear the passion in her voice as she answers, and he has the urge to kiss her, to taste the passion himself.

The sun sets before Narcissa clears him. James leaves the Hospital Wing feeling better and feeling worse. He wants nothing more than to show everyone the woman who loves healing and creating plant life, the one who dreams of being more than a housewife. But her family means more to her than her passions so nobody will ever see this side of her.

He tries to figure out another way to get back to the blonde because, maybe, just maybe, he can show her how to be _more_.

 _iv._

Narcissa is in the middle of attending to another student when he enters. He settles on the closest bed to the door to wait quietly. He watches as she moves around, completely at ease.

His face aches while he waits. There is no doubt a bruise forming around his eye. He had asked his best friend to punch him, already exhausting all other means of getting himself sent to the Hospital Wing through carefully orchestrated clumsiness, and well, Sirius didn't pull his punch.

He's brought out of his musing by a _tsk_ ing sound. Narcissa's hands are on her hips as she looks incredulously at him. He takes a quick glance around, seeing it's only the two of them.

"What happened this time?" she asks.

He gives her a sheepish smile. "I may have ran into Sirius' fist," he admits.

She shakes her head. A smile tugs at her lips. "You must've hit it very hard for a bruise like this."

James doesn't say anything as she checks him over for any other injuries. She's meticulous about it, a crease forms above her brow as she concentrates. He admires her beauty and her skill. Then the same question comes to mind and he can't help himself; he has to know.

"Why won't you become a Healer if you're this good at it before leaving Hogwarts?"

She stiffens, and, for a brief moment, he thinks he went too far. But she gets back to her task almost as if she never stopped. "You honestly can't be that thickheaded. After I graduate, I'll become a wife; nothing more and nothing less."

He springs up, outraged, narrowly missing her as he does. All pain is forgotten in that moment as he paces back and forth. "That's insane! Unimaginable! Not to be able to do something you clearly love is unfair."

"James," she says softly, firmly. "It is my duty. I've known of it since I was a child. I'm lucky to even get this chance with Madam Pomfrey."

He stops in his tracks before stepping forward. He touches her cheek gently, meeting her blue-grey eyes with his own hazel ones. He whispers empathetically, "You deserve so much more than just being a wife, Narcissa."

There are sounds of footsteps approaching, that causes Narcissa to jerk herself away from him. "The bruise will go away in a few days. I hope you'll be more self-aware in the future, James."

"I will try to be," he says. He nods to her before he leaves, passing the student heading to the Hospital Wing.

He hates how duty rules Narcissa's heart as love rules his.

 _v._

James throws the door to the Hospital Wing open. Narcissa is alone this time; she's sitting back against the furthest wall, her books spread out around her. Her blue-grey eyes snap up to meet his.

"What is it this time, James?" Narcissa asks, a smirk playing on her lips.

He offers her his hand. There's a papercut on his index finger; it's barely visible and not even red anymore. He grins at her. "A paper decided to challenge me. I thought I was dying!"

She fixes him with an unimpressed look. "It's a papercut. It's not life threatening."

"You wound me," he claims, holding his free hand to his chest. His other hand is still in Narcissa's hand. "Here I thought you would help."

"What do you expect me to do?"

He smirks at her. "Haven't you heard? Kisses makes it all better."

"Is that so?" she asks. She eyes him carefully. Then, ever so slowly, she brings his hand up level with her face and places a kiss softly to his index finger. "Is that better?"

James watches at her with wide eyes. He unconsciously licks his dry lips before swallowing. "Uh, yeah," he clears his throat. "Better."

She lets go of his hand, chuckling softly. "I know what you've been doing."

"What have I been doing?"

"Trying change my mind," she replies. She searches his eyes before she leans forward and kisses him. It's soft and better than either of them can imagine. "I'm not going to change my mind. I know my duty to my family. But I have a duty to my heart and several months until my graduation."

James gives her a wide, toothy smile. "Better make the most of it, then."

He kisses her again, pulling her close to him. It may not be exactly what he was thinking, but he has several months to change her mind.


End file.
